Res Ipsa Loquitur (phrase)- Latin, Legalese: "The Thing Speaks For Itself." . . . DREAM JOURNAL

I've had pretty bad insomnia since last year. Last night, after yet another night it taking hours to fall asleep, only to wake up at 2:30 AM or so and having to wait yet more hours to fall asleep again, two words suddenly came to me:

Speed Sickness

(a.k.a. hurry sickness).

In any case, I realised that my breathing is often shallow, from the chest and not the belly. I constantly am thinking ahead to the next task. Part of me is afraid to slow down. I don't want to be seen as a slacker, or a lazy person.

But after not sleeping well for so long, I realised that--mentally--even when I have plenty of free time, I'm still in a rush. Part of the problem is that 2007 has been full of more than one human being's recommended dose of major life changes for one year: graduating law school, studying for and taking the bar, moving, moving *in* with my fiance for the first time, job hunting and getting married. Many of those are positive, but that's still a lot packed into one year.

I've taken some steps, such as keeping a very careful eye on my social commitments (an area where an introvert like myself can loose a lot of energy for no return, if they engage in social activities only because those activities are duties). I also realised recently that my insomnia is markedly worse if I have caffeinated coffee in the *morning*. I tried to avoid that unpleasant conclusion for a while, but--freaky as it sounds--it seems to be holding true. So I decided this morning to go a step further and avoid even caffeinated teas for a while and see how that goes. Tisanes for the next week.

I also spent this morning in the garden, just looking at it. I realised that I'd drive 20 minutes to find a park and catch a bit of nature, but that if I slow down and stop my mind from ruminating on whatever is "supposed" to come next, that there actually is a lot of nature right in my tiny new front yard. Wind in the trees. The subtle play of morning sunlight through grass.

The challenge, though, was getting myself to stay out there for 15 minutes or so, basically advertising to the world that I don't have anywhere important to go.

Which brings me to another side of hurry sickness. It's unhealthy, yes. Some sites write about its contribution to heart disease, depression, and--indeed!-insomnia. But even as I realise that I need to shift my mental gears down for at least some parts of my life, I also am all-too-aware that we, as a society and individuals, have huge cultural and emotional biases against slowing down. One of the obvious ones is that if you say someone is "slow," you're usually saying he's stupid. The irony is that in real life I've been lucky enough to meet a guy--a good friend of my fiance--who actually is quite intelligent, but takes a  long while to think though things. He probably comes to conclusions others miss. People tend not to see him as the brightest, though. I myself am also a serial processor. Sometimes I can work though things quite quickly--and then get irked if I have to articulate what to me is obvious to those who can't keep up because, dammit, they're wasting my time (!)--but ultimately I am a serial processor too. Compared to a lot of young people getting out of law school, I might be a bit "slower." But then, I might also be catching some pretty important details that the speedier person *can't* see in their blurred rush to the finish line. I'm the one you'd probably want reviewing your contract or will. That document will have my full, slightly-slower, totally individual, and non-multi-tasked attention. And when I'm done, I'll pause and ask--really ask--"what's still missing?"

I wonder how many of the more annoying and soulless aspects of "America culture" relate back to hurry sickness? For example, chain stores of all sorts. Since we don't have instantaneous travel, does our society get around that by replicating the same place over and over? If you feel like you're in a rush and want to get Starbucks, you can get there very quickly. To any of the thousands of "theres" in the U.S. The coffee you get in California is that same you'd get in Massachusetts. It's instant travel of a sort.

More links:
http://lifestyle.msn.com/MindBodyandSoul/PersonalGrowth/ArticleMC.aspx?cp-documentid=454036
http://www.ghchealth.com/hurry-sickness.html